what makes what more...

This is the last page of “sketch awake-2nd book”.

Yesterday, I asked myself 

“Do I really want to keep doing this?”

And the answer was 

“No”.

So I've decided to stop, once.

If the feeling or will would return, I might start again. Perhaps.

One of my favorite story came to me today.

I once worked parttime at a print company with so many “mothers”, a long time ago.

It was manual labor for like 630 yen an hour.

I had to spend lunchtime with the “mothers” everyday and it was really stressful, to be honest.

But now that I think about it, they, too, must have felt pretty awkward having lunch with me.

But I liked making my lunch box everyday. 

The contents were almost same everyday but it always satisfied my tongue.

I wondered about that.

And one day I casually mentioned the topic during the lunchtime.

“I quickly get tired of conbini-made if I eat them every day.  But I never feel that way about my self-made-almost-same-content lunch box. I wonder why”.

And one "mother"-classic-conservative-typical Japanese woman, gave me an answer. 

‘Because it’s almost the same, not exact the same. There are small differences. The amount of a salt in a pinch can never be the same everyday. That’s what humans make.Physical condition might affect the taste.Even emotions could,too. Factory-made food is strictly measured. No slight variations. That’s why you never get tired of your self-made”.

Let’s put aside issues about artificial additives in conbini-lunches for a moment.

Her answer moved me. And it is always with me since then.